I feel so relieved! Now the hard part comes but at least I feel prepped for it.

9:09 AM

Two drifters off to see the world
there's such a lot of world to see


I want to listen to Audrey Hepburn's heartwrenching voice singing Moon River now. And then I want to introduce Poofie to her and say, "This is the reason why your mama wears her heart on her sleeve but an armour over herself."

Reduced to talking to a teddy bear.

10:34 AM

Put Sufjan Stevens on
And we'll play your favorite song
Chicago bursts to life
And your sweet smile remembers you

Quiet, quiet time at the beach on Wednesday. Cold drinks and delicious food later on. Hot bike rides and Bikini punctured her tire! But she was gracious enough not to press for a refund.

I have to trust my Father above. His faithfulness reaches the skies above. Chin up, Soulja!

8:35 AM

And I lie behind you
And a cradle you in the palm of me
And I pat your hair down
I think will we sink or swim?
'Cause we could do either on a whim

So unmotivated for school. I want to do well and be on track for a masters after I graduate. I want to take the academic route for as long as possible but I'm so uncertain and so scared. The want has not translated into actual effort yet.

And when I see you fretting so much, something in me just snaps. I'm not an expendable on your list. You make it seem like that whenever this comes up. "This is reality", "Too bad". So I may pour more of my own slacker mentality into this current semester because you are taking up too much room with your anxieties. Rebelling.

But I won't. I know darn well that this time, I cannot screw up anymore. Grit my teeth and swim until I sink.

5:53 AM